Ryan Cabrera used to be punk. Then he got a Dave Matthews Band album and it changed his life. No, seriously. Now he’s that dork from the Ashlee Simpson show who broke her heart and then put out a watered-down album of adult contemporary disguised as something the youth of America might want to buy.

But allow me to save you the effort. Take It All Away is not only boring and sappy, but features some of the worst lyrics ever written. Take the first track, "Let’s Take Our Time": "We’ve been waitin’ for a couple weeks/ And I know we shouldn’t rush/ There’s no one here but us/ I don’t want this to die." The same youth exploiters who produced Avril Lavigne are behind this album, and so at first listen the lyrics are almost excusable. After all, that sounds like something a young artist should sing about. But wait -- Cabrera is 21 and too darn old to be so pathetic. And as if the words coming out of his mouth aren’t bad enough, just wait until he hits the high notes on "True."

Basically, Ryan Cabrera is trying to be John Mayer. He got Johnny Reznik from the Goo Goo Dolls to help him, and he’s succeeded in making bad pop music that really wants to be legitimate, but it just doesn’t happen.